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Friday, May 27, 2011

Stuck!!


Stuck!!  Afraid to make plans.  Afraid to go on vacation.  Afraid to buy too many groceries at the grocery store.  Stuck!!
That is what we are feeling.  I wanted so much to be holding my precious babies right now.  I wanted to see my family of six complete.  I wanted to hear the sweetest words to an adopting mom, "mommy." But, God's timing is perfect.  It is hard to understand but I know it is true.  Time and time again throughout my life I have learned that God makes you wait for things for a reason.  I keep telling myself this but it really doesn't make it much easier.  Being stuck stinks.
When we adopted Nolen we were not expecting the phone call.  We thought we had about another year before we would travel.  Out of the blue I got a phone call saying we were leaving in 13 days.  I think this method was much easier than having a picture to stare at for months.  During Nolen's adoption we did not have time to wait much.  We only had 13 days to prepare our family to travel around the world.  We were busy.  We ran around like crazy.  We were tired at night.
How does this compare?  I have a photo this time.  I have many photos this time.  I have watched my daughters go swimming at the community pool.  I have seen them have an Easter dinner.  Seen them have an Easter Egg hunt.  I have heard stories about them and their friends.  I have heard from different volunteers at the baby home about how loving they have been.  When seeing these photos and hearing these stories one thing is missing.  ME.  I am not the one they are loving on, I am not the one cooking them holiday meals.  THIS IS SO HARD.  Please continue to pray for our family as we wait.
I actually think having the photos and seeing the girls has been much harder than the way it was with Nolen.  Much Harder.

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